:) Untoastification Process COMPLETE

Nick got untoastified. Yes. Thats a word. YES IT IS!!! Fool I will argue with you. I will. Don't judge me!!!!!!
So anyways... awkward. After my one person rant there wanna hear how I got untoastified? Well... I beat the Elite 4/5, Round 2! BOOM. Wanna know how? LUCK.

Will- hahahahahhahahah joke. but actually. can you say umbreon and like ampharos for 3 seconds? yes. victorious victory

Koga- annoying. his muk survived a kadabra psychic barely... then he annoyed the living crap out of my umbreon with toxic, minimize, SOME ATTACK THAT ESCAPES ME RIGHT NOW?!?!?!? and swagger. thank god for swagger. raised my attack power by like 4 and i finally hit with a last resort move called... last resort :P. hehehe im silly. victory nontheless

Bruno- annoying as crap. YES CRAP IS ANNOYING THANK YOU VERY MUCH. swept with pidgeot surprisingly until his machamp-o-death. seeeeeya opportunity to win. i weakened it until i could kill it with a psychic from kadabra :). cheap victory

Karen- surprisingly easy. except for umbreon which nearly swept me. oh goodness. i won with a critical hit signal beam with like 4 health. goodness me oh my.

Lance- HARDER THAN THE HARDEST THING YOU CAN THINK OF EXCEPT FOR MAYBE DIAMONDS (yes the rock. yes that was VERY off topic) AND OR RED THE TRAINER BECAUSE THEY CANNOT BE BEATEN. my goodness. who starts with a level 72 SALAMANCE?????? Lance does. The ONLY reason I won was because I quick clawed it with an ice fang and it critical hit him. HAHAHAHAH. sucks for YOU! everything else was fairly doable except for the dragonites-o-dooom. not doom. dooom. dooom has 3 os in it and therefore is CLEARLY better. and scarier. BAH! scared you didnt i. no!? well then... awkward. so anywhos the dragonites gave me a run for my money... literally. i used like 4 revives at least. then i won because he got the unluckiest string of "im paralyzed for 4 turns in a row then i missed with hyper beam". VICTORIOUS NICK!!!

oh! then professor elm comes out and is like "well done. time to beat ME!!!!!!!" 3 pokemon, all starters fully evolved, level 80. harder than crap... hahaha just kidding. i would have literally puked, turned off the game, turned it back on to find elm proceed to slap him repeatedly and yell and cry. then no longer play heartgold. except NOT. aaah. im really tired right now. i just got over sickness so im DEMENTED. no medicine though... anyways, i beat the elite 4/5 (already told you that rant) and gained several level ups in the process. now proceeding to beating them again with hopefully less trouble until i can easily beat them and maybe someday be able to compete with red and or defeat him... ill post something soon about how i need a makeover pokemon style to do this :) hint. it involves the worlds weirdest safari zone ever

Nick

PS: you like how i started off gramatically correct then proceded to say "NOPE" to grammar? yes. yes you did.

PS 2: i like how i ended this post with something for yall to look forward too

PS 3: did i just compliment myself? yes

PS 4: i just used "yall" in a sentence... victory

PS 5: super potions rock socks hardcore

Toast

I'm toast. Just totally toast. Burnt toast actually. Lack of butter. Not melted. Or spread. TOAST.
Wanna know why Nick is toast? Because Nick beat the 8 gyms of Kanto without realizing that after that the Elite Four becomes ridiculoussauce. The WEAKEST of the Elite Four is lvl 60. My strongest is 56. The STRONGEST of the Elite Four is 75. 75-56=19. I'm toast. TOAST. TOASTED TOAST!!!! Grr. Where do I train to make them better? I don't know. Maaaaybe beat the Gym Leaders again but that requires effort and time. Neither I have. PS. Just realized I raised a team who cannot physically possibly beat Red. Pikachu? My answer is Feraligatr with Earthquake... Problem? YUP! Snorlax? Feraligatr with Superpower. Venasaur? Feraligatr with Ice Fang. Charizard? Feraligatr with Surf. Lapras? Ampharos with Thunder (hahaha I had you thinking my Feraligatr had to sweep. I'm so silly). Blastoise? Ampharos. So basically if either one dies im HOSED. My other 4 are Arcanine (who could potentially beat Venasaur), Pidgeot, Umbreon and Alakazam. NICK IS TOASTTOASTEDBYTOASTERSTRUDEL. Ugggghhhhh. Crap.

Nick who is toast. In case I didn't mention before

Pokewalking and HeartGold

oh goodness lets begin at the elite 4. will-joke. koga-big joke. bruno-annoying. karen-hard. lance-semi impossible. WHAT DRAGONITE KNOWS THUNDER????? seeya feraligatr using nothing but ice fang to sweep him. woops. so much for that plan. oh well. and his pokemon somehow got leveled up since the last games. but like 2 but still. just more training for nick. oh goodness. started off w the always trusty ampharos quick claw combo which usually works :). then immediatly switched to feraligatr quick claw combo. somehow i got another one from a wild sandslash????? can you say LUCKY? on top of THOSE shenanigans i got about 4 critical hits leading to a quick sweep of luckiness. huzzah huzzah. and huzzah. i had to use ho-oh on the dragonite that knew thunder however because feraligatr couldnt handle that attack... for good reason. ho oh surprisingly did well even though it was a horrible type matchup. oh well. im just glad i won and survived. now on to bigger and better things like kanto! btw, the gym leaders are even harder in kanto for some reason. and red will kill my face. just not even possible. really. pokewalking is more fun now that i have the national dex because it unlocked 3 new places because i have a good amount of watts collected from massive walkatopia. anyways, heartgold rocks and you should get it.

Nick

ps. shoddy still rocks. socks.

Shoddy Battling!

OMG Shoddy is so good. I was afraid it was gonna wreck my computer but it didnt and it ROCKS! You can pick ANY pokemon and they start off lvl 100, you can pick any moves for all the pokemon (that they can physically learn whether that be by breeding, move tutors, or naturally) and you fight real people so you get a real challenge. As of right now my record is 3-1... ok one of those wins was by forfeit because his computer tweaked out but whatevs. VICTORY NONETHELESS! I have a team of complete defensive ridiculousness which is Swampert, Umbreon, Shuckle, Heatran, Dragonite (ok i needed some offense) and Forretress. How are you supposed to beat that? I don't know. That's why I made it. Metagross and Tyranitar came in close to making the team as well as Blissey but I like this team. So I'ma go play some more and you should too. We have a post on the side of the page if you wanna go to the website and play. I have another team too which I'll post later w moves and stuff but yeah. Super fun and you should play it!

Nick

Contest Victories

Finally! An article not about frustration! So basically Sullivan and I (after our Feebas adventures) decided hey, might as well make Umbreon a Contest pokemon because three of its moves were smart. Faint Attack (3 appeal, works well if used first), Confuse Ray (3 appeal, scrambles order), Screech (1 appeal, 3 jam, badly jams pokemon who have already appealed) and Double Edge (Tough move, 6 appeal, startled easier later...). So yeah. After overdosing on green Pokeblocks, I always got a crap load of first round appeal points :) so yeah. Then during contests I always breezed through everyone... until the Master Rank. My first Master Rank Smart Contest I lost barely to a Sableye... who had my exact moveset. Well it seemed like it because it knew both Faint Attack and Confuse Ray. Weeeeird. Anyways, I won my second by literally the SMALLEST margin of victory ever. I won by a speck. Like I couldn't have made it any closer it was that ridiculous. Goodness. I got really lucky too because my last appeal move was Faint Attack, I went first, and it got the crowd going. So basically I got 12 hearts for that. Hell yes. So yeah. VICTORY IS MINE! Only thing I'm still interested in regarding contests are move combos like Agility and Swift. Agility makes it so you move first the next round and Swift works better if you move first. They are both cool moves by the way. So yeah... VICTORY IS MINE!

Nick... who doesn't really have anything to post as a PS yet... OH!

PS: My Milotic is wonderful :P. It's level 51 right now and I already have it's final moveset done. Surf, Ice Beam, Recover and Attract. Can you say WONDERFULTASTICSAUCENESS!?

Shenaniganizing Prioritizing

The Quest of Frustration and Holiness: aka Feebas Hunting

Welcome, welcome to the single most frustrating Pokemon experience of alltime.

(Nick as a Pokemon game designer) "hey, let's go piss off some 7 year olds by making one of the best pokemon ever impossible to catch!"
(Nick as the responding team members) "YEAH!"
(Nick as a Pokemon game designer) "so heres the plan. lets make a route filled with over 400 spaces of water tiles and make it so the only way to get part 1 of the best pokemon ever is to fish with a super rod which you can only get after the sixth gym!!! on top of that lets make it so only 6 spots have the crappiest pokemon disguised as the baby form of the best pokemon ever to walk the face of the earth... no not a magikarp john we already discussed that. sheesh. im talking about a Feebas! why bother catching one even though its only move is splash? and that it takes minimum 6 hours to catch one? and then another several hours to figure out how to make the right pokeblocks and make sure the lvl is low enough to where it can learn good moves by breeding then getting the right berry mixtures and hope computers are good at pokeblending to make a good pokeblock to eventually feed like 15 to to hopefully evolve it???????????????? well i'll tell you. it well eventually evolve into a milotic! sound good!?"
(Nick as the responding team members) "YEAH!"
(Nick as a 7 year old who loves Pokemon) "NO! I dont care how good that is there is no way in h-e-double hockey sticks (because i didnt swear as a 7 year old :P ) ima spend 10 hours trying to evolve a goldfish-on-crack-type-pokemon!!!!!!!!"
(Nick as a 17 year old... who still loves Pokemon) "ok. might as well. ive done everything else there is to do in ur game... with the exception of beating the entire battle fronteir... twice"

10-15 hours later, Nick and Sullivan devised a brilliant plan of Feebas hunting zed Feebas, successfully found zed Feebas, breeded zed Feebas, made enough Pokeblocks after hours of research for zed Feebas, evolved zed Feebas, and are now training zed evolved Feebas turn into the most dangerous thing to ever walk/slither the earth/water since Chuck Norris.
Now you may ask "why Nick and Sullivan did you ever make the title shenaniganizing prioritizing?"
Nick and Sullivan respond "because it (Feebas hunting/training/breeding/pokeblocking/frustrationizing) took priority over raising Nick's Espeon, Umbreon, training my entire team 2 more lvls, tutoring my Salamance and Swampert Rock Slide and Counter, respectively, and overall Battle Fronteiring. So that's why."

Love, Sullivan and a Nick who hopefully thinks whoever hopefully reads these articles enjoys his twisted since of humor and limited PokeKnowledge :)

PS: Ima thinkin it's moveset is gonna be Surf/Hydro Pump (havnt deciced), Ice Beam, Recover and Attract. Any other suggestions?

PS#2: I like how I usually end my posts with PS's... generally several of them

PS#3: Did I just give myself a compliment?

PS#4: Yes. Yes I did.

Moveset Dilemma

So I got an Espeon and Umbreon the other day in my Emerald file (can I just mention how adorable both of them are and still amazing in battles). Although they both come from Eevee, their styles of battle are completely different. For example, Espeon is good in short fights due to high special attack and speed but lacks defensive ability due to low health, defense and special defense. Umbreon however was built for durability. Umm basically one of the best defensive pokemon in both regular defense and special defense. Pair that with high health but relatively low attack power and you have an Umbreon. Give it a Leftovers and your'e cookin with danger. Espeon I'm thinking of giving the moveset including Psychic and Attract. I need some power though and something else. Potentially like Dig or Confuse Ray (if possible) or Shadow Ball. Umbreon however I'm thinking of giving Faint Attack and Moonlight (just to be annoying :P). Other moves to think about are Dig, Confuse Ray, Psychic, Aerial Ace (to kill Bugs and Fighting types), Double Team and Double Edge. Any suggestions?

Nick

PS: Beat the Battle Arena and Battle Factory last week :)
PS #2: I was going through the Battle Factory just for fun the other day and my final team (not even fair) was a Meganium, Typhlosion and Swampert. How are you supposed to compete with that??? Thats right. You don't.

BFF (Battle Fronteir Frustration)

So before I even start I'm just gonna apologize for making like 2 of my first 5 posts about frustration. Now to begin. The Battle Fronteir in my opinion is WONDERFUL and also extremely frustrating because it adds a different aspect to the game (leveling up doesn't help really). My strategy however is to level up Pokemon that have a high stat total (500+) because overtime those advantages will become more obvious... and cheating using TMs so your good against any type. For example, I have 6 Pokemon lvl 71 right now. Those being:

Charizard (my favorite of this team): Flamethrower, Aeriel Ace, Earthquake, Blast Burn
Heracross (type advantages actually insanely helpful): Megahorn, Brick Break, Rock Slide, Counter
Lapras (terrible move set. I'm aware): Surf, Ice Beam, Hydro Pump, Sheer Cold
Metagross(boom pow domination): Psychic, Meteor Mash, Earthquake, Hyper Beam
Salamance(crazy strong. Terrible defense): Dragon Claw, Fly, Flamethrower (to kill annoying Ice types), Hyper Beam
Tyranitar(moves at the pace of a dead tortise): Crunch, Rock Slide, Earthquake, Hyper Beam

There it is. So anyways, I finally got through the Battle Palace (the one where you don't control your Pokemon) and I lost on the FINAL POKEMON!!! Stupid Lapras. Just HAD to kill my Heracross with a critical hit and my Salamance (can't really complain i was screwed w the type matchup anyways). So I went in there with my Charizard, Heracross and Salamance. Was doing great until that Lapras showed up... with a QUICK CLAW! Crapola. Oh well. I don't really like the Battle Palace anyways. My faves are the Battle Dome, Battle Pyramid and Battle Pike. I'm indifferent to the Battle Arena and Battle Factory. HATE the Battle Tower and I already mentioned the Battle Palace. Grr. Anyways, I'm thinking of getting an Electric type in my team so I can slay Spencer (the Battle Palace dude of annoyingness). Problem is, my closest is a Raichu lvl 68 (NOT A GOOD POKEMON TO USE) or I could try my Magneton lvl 74 but that would require training 6 Pokemon 3 levels each. Can you say Elite Four for like 4 hours??? I mean other than those 6 Pokemon, I have a Blaziken, Swampert and Magneton all level 74, then a Raichu lvl 68 and a pathetic Alakazam lvl 62. The closest Pokemon I have other than that are like a Blastoise lvl 66 in my FireRed game and an Arcanine lvl 64 (also in FireRed).

(just in case you were curious)
Blastoise (holy amazingness on steroids): Surf, Ice Beam, Earthquake, Hydro Cannon
Arcanine (needs some TMs to make up for the HORRIBLE move set. I'm thinkin of using Aeriel Ace and or Iron Tail... maybe Overheat???): Flamethrower, Take Down, Extremespeed, Agility

I'm just sayin it is SO annoying once you finally get through the Battle whatever enough times to fight the Brain and you LOSE!!! Or when your like 2 stages/levels/trainers away from fighting them and theyr'e like "HEY! I'm gonna be really good now. For once. Like ever." For example: what TRAINER has a Charizard, Dragonite and Gyrados??? Really!? It's (it being fighting a Brain and losing) happened to me twice. Once in the Battle Pike and once today. Sigh. I'm so bad at the Battle Fronteir. I only have 2 silver symbols (Pyramid and Pike). The only other Brain I've ever fought was today against Spencer. UGH. I need help. Recommendations?????

Nick

Red Eggs (actually Red AND Eggs)

So basically until like yesterday I didn't realize how amazazing eggs are. For example, I was playing Emerald the other day and after the National Dex you can go to the Safari Zone to catch Generation 2 Pokemon like Mareep and Houndour (both quality Pokemon). Problem is they were like lvl 30... umm so yeah. Couldn't evolve them. THEN, I had an idea. Wynaut (pun... tee hee) have them make eggs with a Ditto to make them weak enough to where I can still evolve them!? Hahaha. Done deal now. Now my Pokedex is like 15 more full and I'm actually considering trying to fill it up. Btw, YOU CAN MAKE THE STARTERS HAVE EGGS! Because I don't believe in cheating to just copy Pokemon a million times. So yeah. GO EGGS! Also, if you make Pikachu have an egg and it's a guy, then Pichu will have VOLT TACKLE!!!!!!!!! Which is like amazing sauce. Cuz it has the power of Hydro Pump but BETTER ACCURACY!
Volt Tackle: 120 Power, 100 ACCURACY! What's the catch? It does 1/3 recoil damage which is a lot... Oh well.

PS: If you ever get a Light Ball plus Volt Tackle your gonna be killing just about everything. Cuz Light Balls are A) Insanely hard to get and B) Amazing because they double the Attack and Special Attack of Pikachu. Holy crap. But actually. Found that out the other day when Sullivan and I were looking at Red (the crazy in the pants trainer in HeartGold and SoulSilver). His team consists of:
Lvl 88!?!?!?!? Pikachu: (held item Light Ball) Volt Tackle, Iron Tail, Quick Attack and Thunderbolt. Recommendations? Try not to die. Iron Tail will kill any Rock Pokemon (like Graveler or Golem) so yeah. Thats what I did against Red in Generation 2 because all he could do was Charm (still HATE that attack) and Quick Attack (ahhahahahaha. what a joke)
Lvl 84 Generation 1 Starters: Good Lord
Charizard: Flare Blitz, Air Slash, Dragon Pulse and Blast Burn
Blastoise: Focus Blast, Blizzard, Flash Cannon and Hydro Cannon
Venasaur: Sleep Powder (annoying move), Giga Drain, Sludge Bomb and Frenzy Plant
So basically the Charizard and Blastoise are RIDICULOUS and the Venasaur isn't that bad
Then he has a Lvl 80 Lapras: Blizzard, Brine, Psychic and Body Slam (also not that hard)
And an annoying as crap Lvl 82 Snorlax: Blizzard, Shadow Ball, Crunch, and Giga Impact (at least he doesn't know Rest right? Hehe??? Ugh. Well the good news is that Snorlax's worst statistic is his Special Attack and all of his attacks rely on that. Yay?)
So yeah... Good luck. Recommendations for defeating him... Type advantages. That's really all I can do for you. His Pikachu is a legit threat this time around and Espeon was replaced with Lapras. Which means you can't just slay him with any Dark type... Crap. So yeah. Recommended team? A Steelix or Garchomp to deal with Pikachu. Pikachu's greatest weakness is the COMPLETE lack of Defense. Like strait up Defense. Special Defense is Ok. His starters? Go with an Ice/Water duel type to deal with Charizard and Venasaur (unless you have a great Fire or Psychic type). Take out Blastoise and Lapras with an Electric type or Grass type if your into that kind of thing... well not to discriminate but I really don't like Grass types... at all. Torterra however is the exception :) (aka use something with very good Special Attack power). Snorlax is tricky because it's only weakness if Fighting types which generally have very low Special Defense. So yeah. I would recommend a Lucario or Infernape (if that was your Starter). Well now that I've mentioned both Torterra and Infernape can I just mention how amazing Empoleon is too? But anyways, good luck! He's really really really difficult.

PS #2: I think the PS was longer than my original post... Goodness Nick. Goodness

Nick

Completing the Pokedex. But actually

Oak: I'm too old to go out and complete a Pokedex. Why don't you and (insert rival name here) do it for me?

Nick: Hahahaha. What a joke. I JUST WANNA GO DOMINATE THE GYM LEADERS ALREADY! SHEESH!

I'm sure that's what most people think when Oak or whoever the starting Proffesor is at the start of the game but actually? Go and do it. Once you beat the game and theres nothing to do... why not actually try and catch everything? Oh wait. All your Pokemon and too beast to catch anything under lvl 50. Oops. So how about actually trying to catch everything in the game for a change? It makes the game a lot more interesting and gives you happiness everytime you crush a trainer and get some dough. That way you can actually spend it! As oppossed to buying 25 Full Restores, Revives and Full Heals before the Elite 4. (Sidenote: Why isn't it called the Elite 5? They ALWAYS have 5 in there... Champion should count... no matter how shortly lived his/her title may be :P) I don't mean actually training them all during the game because that would take WAY too long. Just catch them when they're weak then give them an Exp Share at the end of the game to watch your Pokedex flourish quickly! Really. It makes the game WAY more exciting. Thank Sullivan for changing my mindset about this topic. It really does change the whole game.

Nick

PS: If anyone ever actually completes a Generation 4 Pokedex w/o cheating, please post a video of it on our blog or on youtube. It would really fulfill my life. And Proffesor Oaks :)

Frustration Nation

So basically my friend (who shall remain nameless) left his Yellow Version at my house. Naturally, I was like "might as well check it" and turns out he's at the 5th gym. Solid effort! Problems?????? Where do I begin. Umm let's start with the lack of good Pokemon. Like REALLY. Who actually trains a Raticate? Or a Nidoking and Nidoqueen? OR A PARAS!? He did have the Pikachu (because you kind of have to) and a Charmeleon... both under lvl 30. How do you even beat the 4th Gym with an entire team under lvl 30? Or the 3rd Gym for that matter? On top of that, I couldn't go and get the Exp Share because he only had like 30 Pokemon in his Pokedex... I think you need 50? And he was BROKE. Like I mean broke broke. Like $4720 broke. Who buys 37 X Attacks?????? Who does that!? So I couldn't go and buy Pokeballs. SO, to try to FIX this team, I had to A) Go get HM 02 Fly B) Get a Bulbasaur and Squirtle (because he couldn't figure out where they were by himself) and C) Train them to where I could beat a trainer without dying after 3 seconds. But actually. Strongest Pokemon at the beginning of all of that was lvl 28. Speaking of which here it is: Charmeleon. Move Set: CUT!?!?!?!??!?! Dig, Ember and Rage. What a joke. Second best Pokemon: Lvl 21 Pikachu. Enough said. And after ALL those shenanigans, I had to train everything as to where I wouldnt get murdered by 3 wild Bellsprouts. Still in the process of recovering what seems to be a lost cause. I've poured like 6 hours of work into that file so far and it's still going nowhere. I'm thinkin of just restarting the whole game and working up from there. But I really shouldn't cuz it's not my game. But IF it were... Sigh. People should really know how to build a successful team, understand the concept of only training that team, and knowing how not to spend no scratch that. WASTE money on almost useless items. I mean really. Ugh.

A very frustrated Nick

PS: Please learn type advantages and disadvantages before you start anything. Ever.

Best Birthday Cake Ever? I Think So.

Nick is seriously the best kid I've ever met. His sister and mother and wholleeee family too. I mean, just look at the cake they made me for my birthday:

They made that! At home!

Best people on the face of the planet?

Hell yes.